ow ow ow

Excuse me while I digress from all things beautiful to bring you a blog post on all things evil.

Yesterday, I had a PT session at the gym. Occasionally we do circuits and usually I manage without too much complaining. Enter the kettlebell. *shudders*. If you've never used a kettlebell, let me appraise you of all the information you'll ever need. They are of Russian origin. They are heavy. They are MEAN!

The exercises were not overly complicated & didn't look too bad when being demonstrated. I am used to my PT making everything look easy, but even by those standards, I figured these couldn't be too bad. A few squats? *shrugs*

(don't know what the fluck she's smiling about)

Today, I am dying. Every fibre of every muscle is in utter agony. I can't bend my right leg to walk properly and my arms are being supported by pillows to reach the keyboard to type up this post. I literally would sleep on the road.

I fully expect to look like this in a few more classes. non?

Just for fun, doesn't everyone's Zumba classes look like this?

Lush Snow Fairy

I must have been living under a rock for the last few years as it is only in the last fortnight that I discovered Lush Snow Fairy shower gel. An annually limited edition product that comes out each year around November, it is Lush's No1 Christmas best seller and it is absolutely delicious. It's so popular, in fact, it has its own Facebook page!!

Lush say it smells of 'candy floss and pear drops' and I'd say it's probably even sweeter than that. It's like sticking your head in a bag of pic 'n' mix. It is shot through with blue silver sparkles that look pretty when you're using it, but don't leave you covered in glitter after. I've found it's gentle enough to use on my hair & if you do, the heat from the hairdryer will make the yummy sweet smell fill the room.

This year, you can also pick up the Magic Wand Bubble Bar, a solid version of the shower gel that can be used in the bath. Will make fabulous stocking fillers those extra girly girls!

Getting my Twig on

I've been loving bottom lash mascaras recently, giving my eye makeup a whole new dimension. The 2 I've been using are Clinique's Bottom Lash Mascara and Daniel Sandler's Baby Jet Mascara.

The brushes are completely different, with the Baby Jet probably quite suitable for short lash owners to use on their upper lashes too. Baby Jet is slightly more difficult to use on the lower lashes as the wand is so long, meaning you can't 'wiggle' as much as the Clinique. The result is more 'dainty' looking lashes.

I like both results and sometimes find the Clinique means I'm a little heavy handed, resulting in quite heavy looking lashes. The real test for this product is smudgeability. In this contest, Clinique wins hands down. This stuff does not move, whereas I find the Baby Jet moves at the sign of the slightest hint of oilyness around my eyes. If you don't have oily lids, you'll get a super performance out of either.

Daniel Sandler Baby Jet

Clinique Bottom Lash

Bare Necessities

A few weeks ago, I wasn't feeling 100% and went to work with no makeup on. One of my colleagues I have worked with for years didn't recognise me and it got me to thinking if I wear too much makeup and how I take for granted the adjustments I can make to my face each day without even really thinking about it.

When I take my makeup off at the end of the night, I always do one side of my face first, then the other side. I thought this would be a fun way to compare the difference between a made-up face and a bare face!

This is just my quick & easy office makeup; tinted moisturiser, a wash of a neutral eye colour, some mascara & a sweep of blush.

What do you think?

Bourjois Ultra Care Mascara

I very rarely review mascara. My reasons are 3-fold; 1 - I generally find them bloody boring, 2 - I find mascara a very individual product & results are not guaranteed and 3 - I very very rarely find a mascara that actually does a good job!

Bourjois' Volume Glamour Ultra Care Mascara for Sensitive Eyes has come totally out of left field & has completely blown me away. I literally look forward to using it every morning, which I know is weird.

I am a through & through waterproof mascara fan. I struggle to remember my last non-waterproof mascara. But after removing my latest round of semi-permanent lashes, my poor wee lashes were sparse, brittle & very delicate and my go-to tube of MUFE's Aqua Smokey Lash just wasn't cutting it. I scoured Boots for something cheap but gentle that I could use for just a couple of weeks, whilst my lashes went into respite.

I chose this specifically because it claimed to be for sensitive eyes. It had the word 'care' in it, so I was sold. It was either that or I didn't wear mascara at all. I didn't expect much (I am famously not a fan of Bourjois), there were no testers and so I had very low expectations. I have never been so wrong about a product (I actually feel a little guilty for being so harsh on big ol B).

The bristles on the brush are soft and there's no 'stabby' feeling along your lash line as this goes on. The formula is nice & wet, but there's no splodging. I've been using this for about 4 weeks now and it's still nice & wet. There's lots of good things I could say, but the absolute, without a doubt, stand out feature is the fact it doesn't smudge. I have oily lids which is the reason I normally opt for waterproof formulas, but this stuff doesn't budge! I wear it to the gym every night (and I am a girl who doesn't feel like I've achieved unless I have sweat dripping down my face) and not once have I gotten home to find I have sweaty black streaks down my cheeks. It is incredible.

Since I've started using it, my eyelashes have returned to their normal, full selves. They are in superb condition and look great with this mascara applied. I can't see any reason why I would go back to any of my former favourites and think this has secured it's place in my makeup bag long-term. Plus, at about £6, it's about 1/2 the price of any of the others I would normally use. Result!

Sophisticated like a hooker?

One of the things that I adore about Mac, my husband, is his enthusiasm to show that he takes an interest in my life. Last night I mentioned, as I was getting ready for dinner, that I hadn't decided what makeup to wear. His response was "a smokey eye, a red lip and some Nars".

I do dread to think what I might end up looking like if I let him do my makeup!!

Philosophy 'Have a Cherry Christmas'

There's absolutely no link between cherry flavoured shower gel & Christmas, but obviously the pun of "Have a Cherry Christmas" was too much for the bods down in advertising at Philosophy to pass up.

I'm glad they didn't because it. is. gorgeous. I just bought the shower gel on it's own, but you can also buy the set, which includes the lipgloss, instore at Boots. The shower gel on it's own is £14. If you love delicious sweet heavy fruity smells, you need this.

I will be buying backups to last me the year before this sells out! Yum!

Pudsey Nail Rock Nail Wraps

You can buy these super cute Pudsey-inspired nail wraps in Boots for £6.65. I don't normally bother with the faff of fiddly things like these, but I couldn't resist these & they are very pretty!

25% of the £6.65 will go to Children in Need

47 things about me

Something a little bit different...

1. I have a 'deep down in the pit of my stomach' fear of turning 30 in January

2. I wish I could get over it

3. My blonde hair is naturally this colour.

4. I am petrified of the dark & ghosts & if I'm home alone, I sleep with a light on.

5. I fundamentally can't reconcile the real world, religion & how people can exist in one AND believe in the other.

6. I am completely aware of the conflict between 4 and 5.

7. I thought my 6 or so best friends from school & I would never be apart. 12 years after moving away from home, we keep in touch on Facebook and I haven't seen most of them in about 10 years.

8. I can't believe I'm a grown up.

9. I have a twin brother (and a baby brother).

10. My dad & brother (twin) are both Navy men and I have a giant traditional swallow tattoo down my left ribs in honour of that.

11. I have had 5 operations performed under a general anaesthetic.

12. One of those operations was to have my ears 'pinned back'. 2 different surgeons operated on my ears and so one ear had 20 stitches & the other had 10. They are both completely at odds with each other and are as pointy as Noddy's. But I'm still glad my parents had it done.

13. Another operation was to have a mole removed from my eye. An actual mole from my actual eyeball. Gross.

14. I yearn to be one of those women who can wear red lipstick flawlessly all day, every day.

15. I was once told my big toes look like thumbs. All I have seen since then, when I look down at my feet, is weird hands. I can't shake it & think perhaps I need therapy.

16. My mum used to be in a show choir & I thought it was the most glamourous thing ever.

17. Hoarders annoy me to my very core. I have no nostalgia for crap. All my stuff is current & I use it. Otherwise it goes in the bin or to the charity shop.

18. People are usually quite surprised to hear that I would love to be a housewife

19. I don't know if I ever want to have kids, but if I do, I'm seriously interested in adopting.

20. I wish I was a dancer in L.A.

21. I feel very privileged to have been able to go to university 3 times and study what I wanted. I completed 2 years of a Fine Art degree, but dropped out as I was too young & had no idea what I wanted. I went back 3 years later & completed a Sociology degree with Distinction & have since completed a Post-Grad in Human Resource Management.

22. I used to work in a chip shop.

23. I was approached my STORM modelling agency when I was 15 in Piccadilly Circus. I told them I couldn't join them as I was doing my Standard Grade exams.

24. I've regretted that decision my entire adult life.

25. I love my husband more than I ever thought possible...

26. Worringly, I think I love my cat as equally as much. The cat certainly doesn't get shouted at as much.

27. I wish I lived in New York

28. I once tried to dye my hair black but it went green. I was a rubbish goth

29. I love my MUA work and would do it for free if people weren't prepared to pay.

30. I love silence

31. I haven't eaten chocolate in over 2 years. It's a small insignificant fact to others, but it amazes me on a daily basis.

32. If I could apply that type of willpower to the other aspects of my life, I'd be running marathons, be a size 8, always have clean socks & be a millionaire.

33. I am still seriously considering a career in politics. And it's not because I have an enduring crush on Nick Clegg

34. I want to be fit. I want to see muscles in my arms and legs. I want to feel energised & like I can do anything. Weirdly, my inspiration is usually Vikings - they were so strong, just from going about their daily life. I can't imagine Vikings being worried about being obese or having to abstain from chocolate.

35. When I was 15 I had a boyfriend who was 18, had a car & I thought was the coolest thing ever. He treated me like utter shite & so I'm still smug to this day that when I saw him 10 years later, he was working as a waiter at TGI Fridays.

36. I always let bus drivers pull away from bus stops. It's in the green cross code people!!

37. I can speak a small amount of German. I would love to be able to speak French or Italian.

38. I'm not (never have been) particularly interested in visiting either France or Italy.

39. I want to write a book. I have no thoughts on what it would be about & I have a crap imagination. This blog post is probably the closest thing to writing a biography I will ever get.

40. I worry far too much what other people think of me, to the point where it inhibits things I want to do or say. I'm working on it.

41. I used to work in a bar where we were expected to get up on the bar and dance to the Grease megamix whenever the DJ saw fit to play it.

42. I loved that job.

43. I have a constant paranoia that I have killed someone and have suffered from some sort of stress-related amnesia forcing me to forget the incident & the police will turn up at any moment.

44. If my dad had had his way, I would have been called Guinevere. I secretly wish I had.

45. I loved the movie 'The Craft' and to this day wish I had magical powers.

46. I love fashion but I only ever wear the most simple of outfits.

47. It took me 5 attempts to pass my test, but I've never had an accident. Everyone else I know in my 'immediate circle' has crashed, had penalty points etc. It makes me a little smug.

I stopped at 47 as I couldn't think of anything else interesting & didn't want to put fillers in. I'll maybe do another one, another time. Was this the most boring 7 minutes of your life?!